I chose the title in part because of my long break from the blog, but also because I am feeling an absence of God right now. I am in the proverbial season of wilderness. I haven't been blogging because quite honestly I've not felt like doing anything. As my recent Facebook status says, Holli Swank is mired in depression and despair.
But I know it will be okay. I don't know when and I don't know how, but I do know that. The hard part is the waiting. I feel lonely and empty at the moment. Nothing I do satisfies, even prayer. I know he wants me to learn something here, and I suspect it has a little to do with the Emmaus Walk I am scheduled to go on at the end of this month, but as is typical, I don't know His plan.
So I press on (or press in as my pastor would say), my faith being stretched to it's limits, my emotional state fragile. I asked for a deeper relationship with Him this year, and I think that's what He's prompting me towards. I just wish I knew for sure. Then again, maybe that's the point; I don't know the point and I'm not supposed to.
I wrote another poem last night that I will post soon. I want to make sure it's right before I put it up though. Not surprisingly, it's called 'Wilderness'. So keep an eye out for that and for updates as I let you in on my journey through the desert.
Now playing: Brandon Heath - Wait And See