I was restless last night before bed, knowing I wanted to do something, but with no idea what exactly to do. I walked around the house aimlessly for a few minutes, and then sat down on the bed and told Larry I didn't know what to do. He suggested a couple things before I sighed and said, "I want to write something but I don't know what."
I do very little writing these days between the kids and exhaustion. In my youth, I delighted in writing poetry and stories, even completing what would essentially be a novel with my best friend in 8th grade. I thought for a long time that my career path would either be a pediatrician or an author.
So Larry suggested that I write a love letter to Dad (as we call God). I protested, not knowing what I'd say, much like I struggle with prayer at times. But after laying down and staring at the blank legal pad for a few minutes, a line of poetry came to me. And from there another, and another, and so on, until finally I was done. I don't know that I would call it a love letter per say, but you may see it differently.
Streams of red flow down His face
And mix with tears of pain
Blood and water from His side
Cover every sin and stain
Forgiven and loved by Christ the Lord
It's too much to believe
Ashamed of the mistakes I've made
All I want to do is grieve
But that is not what I am called to do
As I listen for His voice
"I died for you, my child," He says
"And now before you is a choice."
So I pick myself up off the floor
To worship Him and find His will
The one who saved me from my sins
Who gave His life upon a hill
Step by step and day by day
I seek, I walk, I learn
To hear and follow Jesus
I read, I pray, I yearn
Lose your life to find it, I hear
And I know what I must do
I can give nothing less than all
For with His blood my Savior made me new
Now playing: Matt Redman - Call To Worship