Ever have one of those roller coaster weekends?
Friday was my birthday, which in some ways really sucks. Eight years ago my birthday became a very sad day, and every year since I've dreaded the day. I didn't really want to celebrate on such a wretched day.
This year was going to be different though.
On Wednesday, I got a really amazing early birthday gift from Larry and the kids, setting a great tone for my actual birthday. Friday evening, Larry and I went out for dinner then walked through various bookstores before getting ice cream at Baskin Robbins. I went to bed really pleased with my birthday.
Saturday was not so good. It was supposed to be a fun day with shopping and another birthday dinner with some family. It turned out to be stressful and very disappointing.
Sunday morning deepened the bitter feelings. Larry was sick, Erin was sick, Brianna was just starting to feel better, and the extended family served up more let down. I went into that evening feeling pretty crummy.
But then something happened. We got to church and started practicing the music. (I run the projector that shows the words of the songs.) The music flowed and I started to relax. The service started and our pastor used a video that had us all on the verge of tears or openly weeping.
After the service was over, there was "one more song", a rousing surprise version of Happy Birthday for me. Then all the kids came upstairs and one by one gave me a hug and said Happy Birthday. Then there was food, cake and fellowship downstairs. For me. To celebrate me. A surprise party planned and organized by Larry and our pastor's wife. Just thinking about it starts to get me choked up.
I have an amazing husband, amazing children, an amazing Father and an amazing church family.
For the first time in a long time, a roller coaster that was worth the ride.
Welcome!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
pet owner ... This is My Life
I have four cats. I started with one back in 1999. Then two in 2006. Then three in 2008. Now, four in 2009. It won't get any bigger because I've discovered that changing litter boxes for so many cats is insane.
Anyway, I thought I would introduce you to my four kids with fur.
Ancalagon is my oldest cat. He's ten now and has slowed down considerably since we got him. He does still get rowdy though. He likes to bite quite a bit, and chase the laser pointer when we get it out. He's not much for getting involved in the chasing the other three participate in though.
We've had a couple scares with his health, but he always pulls through, kind of like the cat that refuses to go away. Not that I want him to go away. It will destroy me when he dies, even though I know it will happen someday, probably sooner than later.
I have to mention Luthien, my second cat, who I adopted in 2006. Her name was Holly in the pet store, so obviously I had to have her. She had to be put to sleep last October after liver problems. She was three.
Faith is affectionately known as our washing machine. She will wash anything; humans, cats, fuzzy toys, anything she feels is dirty. We got her in September of last year, and it really helped to soften to blow of losing Luthien. I really think that's why the Lord gave her to us. She was my birthday present.
Faith is Larry's favorite cat, because she's a loner. She leaves everyone alone until it's time for petting, and then she appears. At night she romps around with the other two young cats.
I got Aragorn last December. I'd said I wasn't going to get any more cats, but I went into Pet Smart one day and he was the last of his litter. And his name was Aragorn my favorite character from LOTR. He was almost five months old and so adorable. So he became my Christmas present!
Aragorn is a mama's boy. He lays in the bathroom with me every night while I take a bath and demands to be petted. If he leaves the room and forgets where I am, he cries pathetically until I call for him.
And finally, there's Megatron, AKA Meg. She's the baby, born in April of this year. She was the last the litter that Larry's aunt's stray had surprised her with. We went over to borrow a cooler for our party and there she was, shy and hiding. Once you got a hold of her she was very lovey though and would let you hold her forever. So, Meg became my anniversary gift. She's fit in very well here, and Aragorn is her very best friend. They chase each other all over during the night, making as much noise as they can.
So, those are my fuzzy babies. I'll keep you up to date on them as things happen. Meg's due to get fixed real soon, so that'll be fun. I hate taking them to the vet, and they feel about the same.
----------------
Now playing: Ted Nugent - Cat Scratch Fever
via FoxyTunes
Anyway, I thought I would introduce you to my four kids with fur.
Ancalagon is my oldest cat. He's ten now and has slowed down considerably since we got him. He does still get rowdy though. He likes to bite quite a bit, and chase the laser pointer when we get it out. He's not much for getting involved in the chasing the other three participate in though.
We've had a couple scares with his health, but he always pulls through, kind of like the cat that refuses to go away. Not that I want him to go away. It will destroy me when he dies, even though I know it will happen someday, probably sooner than later.
I have to mention Luthien, my second cat, who I adopted in 2006. Her name was Holly in the pet store, so obviously I had to have her. She had to be put to sleep last October after liver problems. She was three.
Faith is affectionately known as our washing machine. She will wash anything; humans, cats, fuzzy toys, anything she feels is dirty. We got her in September of last year, and it really helped to soften to blow of losing Luthien. I really think that's why the Lord gave her to us. She was my birthday present.
Faith is Larry's favorite cat, because she's a loner. She leaves everyone alone until it's time for petting, and then she appears. At night she romps around with the other two young cats.
I got Aragorn last December. I'd said I wasn't going to get any more cats, but I went into Pet Smart one day and he was the last of his litter. And his name was Aragorn my favorite character from LOTR. He was almost five months old and so adorable. So he became my Christmas present!Aragorn is a mama's boy. He lays in the bathroom with me every night while I take a bath and demands to be petted. If he leaves the room and forgets where I am, he cries pathetically until I call for him.
And finally, there's Megatron, AKA Meg. She's the baby, born in April of this year. She was the last the litter that Larry's aunt's stray had surprised her with. We went over to borrow a cooler for our party and there she was, shy and hiding. Once you got a hold of her she was very lovey though and would let you hold her forever. So, Meg became my anniversary gift. She's fit in very well here, and Aragorn is her very best friend. They chase each other all over during the night, making as much noise as they can.
So, those are my fuzzy babies. I'll keep you up to date on them as things happen. Meg's due to get fixed real soon, so that'll be fun. I hate taking them to the vet, and they feel about the same.
----------------
Now playing: Ted Nugent - Cat Scratch Fever
via FoxyTunes
Friday, September 4, 2009
Christian ... This is My Life
I found out a few days ago that my youngest brother, Randy, has decided to go on the Fall Emmaus Walk the end of the month. That also means I am his sponsor! There are good reasons why I need to be, and not my husband who is working the Walk, but I can't really go into detail here. Suffice to say, Randy will know why come that Sunday evening.
The Emmaus Walk is something I've been wanting to post about since I got back from mine in May, but I've never really known how. The experience defies description. It is like being wrapped in God's arms for three full days. The love of people and the love of God in that place is almost tangible.
I was terrified before I went. I would literally lay in bed at night and silently cry because I could not stand the thought of being away from my husband for three nights. I thought of all the worst things that could happen; if I got sick, if there was an accident at home, if there was a fire at the campground.
I posted about what happened the Monday before I left a while back here. Then Thursday came. Larry dropped me off and everyone sang to us as we walked off to have a late meal. (I found out later that Eric, my pastor, wondered if they'd made a mistake by asking me to go after seeing how miserable I was that evening.)
Friday was an up and down day. I was okay when I was busy doing something, but when I was just sitting at a meal or something, my stomach churned. Eventually, I took some Pepto and that helped, but the really big assistance came from one of the pastors there. We talked for about an hour or so that night and he clarified some things for me. As I walked back to my cabin, I felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted from me. The ladies I shared that cabin with were all joking when we got back and I slept very peacefully.
Saturday was probably the single most amazing spiritual day I have ever had. The profound moments just never stopped for me. I still swell with emotion any time I think about it. All vestiges of fright and worry were completely gone.
Sunday was great as well. The pride in my husband's eyes when I saw him that evening was very special. I had conquered my fears and done what I thought I couldn't. I came home a different person.
I pray that Randy will find the same clarity and joy in those days that I did. I also hope I can do as well for him as my husband did for me as a sponsor. He's very special to me, no matter how many problems we've had recently. It should be a fabulous four days!
----------------
Now playing: De Colores
via FoxyTunes
The Emmaus Walk is something I've been wanting to post about since I got back from mine in May, but I've never really known how. The experience defies description. It is like being wrapped in God's arms for three full days. The love of people and the love of God in that place is almost tangible.
I was terrified before I went. I would literally lay in bed at night and silently cry because I could not stand the thought of being away from my husband for three nights. I thought of all the worst things that could happen; if I got sick, if there was an accident at home, if there was a fire at the campground.
I posted about what happened the Monday before I left a while back here. Then Thursday came. Larry dropped me off and everyone sang to us as we walked off to have a late meal. (I found out later that Eric, my pastor, wondered if they'd made a mistake by asking me to go after seeing how miserable I was that evening.)
Friday was an up and down day. I was okay when I was busy doing something, but when I was just sitting at a meal or something, my stomach churned. Eventually, I took some Pepto and that helped, but the really big assistance came from one of the pastors there. We talked for about an hour or so that night and he clarified some things for me. As I walked back to my cabin, I felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted from me. The ladies I shared that cabin with were all joking when we got back and I slept very peacefully.
Saturday was probably the single most amazing spiritual day I have ever had. The profound moments just never stopped for me. I still swell with emotion any time I think about it. All vestiges of fright and worry were completely gone.
Sunday was great as well. The pride in my husband's eyes when I saw him that evening was very special. I had conquered my fears and done what I thought I couldn't. I came home a different person.
I pray that Randy will find the same clarity and joy in those days that I did. I also hope I can do as well for him as my husband did for me as a sponsor. He's very special to me, no matter how many problems we've had recently. It should be a fabulous four days!
----------------
Now playing: De Colores
via FoxyTunes
Friday, August 28, 2009
music fan ... This is My Life
Tuesday was the best day for a Christian music fan I can imagine. The following things came out on the 25th:
But we didn't.
Tuesday came and no album in the mail. I got onto the fan club website and found that several others were in the same predicament. I got mad, because of course my brother who hadn't pre-ordered just downloaded the album Tuesday morning. But then I realized it was just music, cool as it might be.
The album arrived yesterday and is awesome. I have been in love with the first two singles, 'Hero' and 'Monster', since we heard them previewed at the concert. My new favorites are 'Awake and Alive' and 'Believe'.
The Tobymac single had been a source of joy for me since I heard a clip of it just before the redio release on 8/14, and then every time I had heard it on the radio since. I love the change-up of style in this song and the message is a doozy.
'Until the Whole World Hears' was a surprise. I knew the album was planned for a November release, but the single hadn't been announced yet. It is a hit in my book, as Casting Crowns comes out swinging once again. There's no doubt what they're going for in this song.
So, in short, Holli is a very happy music listener right now. I'm hoping this is part of the jump start/rejuvenation I need.
----------------
Now playing: Skillet - Awake And Alive
via FoxyTunes
- Tobymac's single, 'City on Our Knees'
- Skillet's new album, Awake
- Casting Crowns new single, 'Until the Whole World Hears'
- Mark Schultz's new album, Come Alive
- Many other albums I am forgetting right now
But we didn't.
Tuesday came and no album in the mail. I got onto the fan club website and found that several others were in the same predicament. I got mad, because of course my brother who hadn't pre-ordered just downloaded the album Tuesday morning. But then I realized it was just music, cool as it might be.
The album arrived yesterday and is awesome. I have been in love with the first two singles, 'Hero' and 'Monster', since we heard them previewed at the concert. My new favorites are 'Awake and Alive' and 'Believe'.
The Tobymac single had been a source of joy for me since I heard a clip of it just before the redio release on 8/14, and then every time I had heard it on the radio since. I love the change-up of style in this song and the message is a doozy.
'Until the Whole World Hears' was a surprise. I knew the album was planned for a November release, but the single hadn't been announced yet. It is a hit in my book, as Casting Crowns comes out swinging once again. There's no doubt what they're going for in this song.
So, in short, Holli is a very happy music listener right now. I'm hoping this is part of the jump start/rejuvenation I need.
----------------
Now playing: Skillet - Awake And Alive
via FoxyTunes
Monday, August 24, 2009
everything ... This is My Life
I am going to be starting a series of blog posts called 'This is My Life'. I will take every tag I have and give you a view of my life from that perspective. You'll see my life as a Christian, a mother, a wife, and so on.
I don't know how regular the posts will be, but when I put them up, it will a Monday, Wednesday or Friday. Sorry for the vague timeline, but life has been good at getting in the way lately.
Oh, and the Bejeweled updates have kind of gone by the wayside like my playing of the game. I know. I'm crying too.
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Now playing: Michael Bublé - Feeling Good
via FoxyTunes
I don't know how regular the posts will be, but when I put them up, it will a Monday, Wednesday or Friday. Sorry for the vague timeline, but life has been good at getting in the way lately.
Oh, and the Bejeweled updates have kind of gone by the wayside like my playing of the game. I know. I'm crying too.
----------------
Now playing: Michael Bublé - Feeling Good
via FoxyTunes
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
everything ... Down the Drain
Have you ever woken up refreshed and then realized you had way too much to try and do?
Yeah, that's me today. Here's the next four days in a nutshell:
Thursday
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Now playing: Kutless - Strong Tower
via FoxyTunes
Yeah, that's me today. Here's the next four days in a nutshell:
Thursday
- probably wake up early when Larry leaves for Indianapolis to attend Gen Con with a friend
- teach off and on through the day
- drop off the kids at Grandma's around 4:00
- grab dinner at McDonald's
- do the weekly grocery shopping
- get the groceries put away
- wait for Larry to get home around 9:00
- undoubtedly wake up early when Larry leaves again for Indy
- pick up the kids
- go to the library for our weekly visit
- take Brianna back to Grandma's
- referee the little two for the afternoon
- cook dinner
- greet Larry around 6:00
- go to WVIHOP for Desire More service at 7:30
- get home and put the kids to bed
- get up around 8ish
- go to HealingPointe
- work at the garage sale from 9 AM-2 PM
- come home
- shower
- (hopefully) rest the remainder of the Sabbath
- SLEEP IN (I hope)
- deliver Larry to his Emmaus meeting at 2 PM
- find something to do with the kids until 4 PM
- deliver Brianna to puppet practice at 4 PM
- create the worship slides for the service
- go buy dinner at 5 PM
- pick up Larry from his meeting
- head back to church for band practice
- service at 6:00
- talk after church for a while
- come home and put the kids to bed
----------------
Now playing: Kutless - Strong Tower
via FoxyTunes
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Christian music fan ... Just in Time
I mentioned in my music list contained within my catch-up post that I needed to tell the story of 'By Your Side' by Tenth Avenue North. It is such a fantastic example of God speaking directly into my life.
Larry had returned from his Emmaus Walk on Sunday, and mine was looming on Thursday. I was absolutely terrified, consumed with fear, that Monday. I had vehemently fought with Larry that morning, cycling through defensive anger and hysterical tears. I had a very real feeling of being forced to go on the retreat, and I didn't feel a sense that God had weighed in on it yet.
Larry had me take a Myers-Briggs personality test, trying to show how alike we are. That didn't turn out so well, but it listed me as similar to the Apostle Thomas. "Great," I said, "I'm the doubter." We talked some about it though, and Larry made me realize that God gave Thomas exactly what he needed, even when Thomas had never expressly asked for it. God heard what Thomas said, likely in anger, to the other apostles, and provided just that. (See John 20:24-27) What I needed was for God to tell me He wanted me to go.
It was after 1:00 when Larry and I finished talking and I'd not eaten in hours. Larry offered to go to McDonald's for me, but I said I was okay to go. As I pulled out of the garage, WBGL started playing 'Revelation' by Third Day, and I completely agreed.
I got to McDonald's and ordered, and then as I sat in the drive-through line I vaguely heard some lyrics.
I got my food, and drove home, those words stuck in my head. I got home, sat down at my computer, and looked up the lyrics, descending into tears as I read.
It was exactly what I needed to hear. I had never heard 'By Your Side' before. He even used the words Jesus spoke to Thomas that Larry and I had talked about thirty minutes before. God was talking to ME! He wanted me to go, and made it clear in no uncertain terms. I was Thomas no more. The doubt was gone.
So, I went on the Walk, with those lyrics pasted inside my poetry notebook for me to look at whenever I needed to be reminded that my Savior had me in His hands, whenever I fell, whenever I called.
Oh, and the McDonald's food never did get eaten. The best meal I never had.
----------------
Now playing: Tenth Avenue North - By Your Side
via FoxyTunes
Larry had returned from his Emmaus Walk on Sunday, and mine was looming on Thursday. I was absolutely terrified, consumed with fear, that Monday. I had vehemently fought with Larry that morning, cycling through defensive anger and hysterical tears. I had a very real feeling of being forced to go on the retreat, and I didn't feel a sense that God had weighed in on it yet.
Larry had me take a Myers-Briggs personality test, trying to show how alike we are. That didn't turn out so well, but it listed me as similar to the Apostle Thomas. "Great," I said, "I'm the doubter." We talked some about it though, and Larry made me realize that God gave Thomas exactly what he needed, even when Thomas had never expressly asked for it. God heard what Thomas said, likely in anger, to the other apostles, and provided just that. (See John 20:24-27) What I needed was for God to tell me He wanted me to go.
It was after 1:00 when Larry and I finished talking and I'd not eaten in hours. Larry offered to go to McDonald's for me, but I said I was okay to go. As I pulled out of the garage, WBGL started playing 'Revelation' by Third Day, and I completely agreed.
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
I got to McDonald's and ordered, and then as I sat in the drive-through line I vaguely heard some lyrics.
Please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
I got my food, and drove home, those words stuck in my head. I got home, sat down at my computer, and looked up the lyrics, descending into tears as I read.
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
(Chorus 2x)
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
(Chorus 2x)
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
(Chorus 2x)
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
(Chorus 2x)
It was exactly what I needed to hear. I had never heard 'By Your Side' before. He even used the words Jesus spoke to Thomas that Larry and I had talked about thirty minutes before. God was talking to ME! He wanted me to go, and made it clear in no uncertain terms. I was Thomas no more. The doubt was gone.
So, I went on the Walk, with those lyrics pasted inside my poetry notebook for me to look at whenever I needed to be reminded that my Savior had me in His hands, whenever I fell, whenever I called.
Oh, and the McDonald's food never did get eaten. The best meal I never had.
----------------
Now playing: Tenth Avenue North - By Your Side
via FoxyTunes
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